As many of our pre-schoolers may start physical school later this year, we parents face unique challenges. Of them, teaching them to be safe is the biggest one. How do we do that when they have remained relatively isolated the last one year in the safety of their house? Through books of course! These three books were the ones that I found best suited for 3.5 years+.
i. My Body Belongs to Me – from My Head to My Toes (by International Center for Assault Prevention): Sometimes a child does not like to be touched, but does not know how to deal with it. It is not always about “Good Touch, Bad Touch”, it could also be about simple invasion of personal space – another child tickling them when they don’t want to be tickled, or picking them up when they don’t want to be.
My 4 year old (who still looks like a 2.5 year old), comes across as this cute baby in the park, and all the elder children will pull his cheeks and hug him, pick him up. For a child who hates being cuddled by his parents, this is obviously very distressing and I have seen him completely lose it and scream sometimes.
The book is very gentle in explaining that it is okay to like certain types of touch (hugging your parents) and not liking the very same actions with others:
“It feels nice and cozy when papa hugs me” but a few pages later it states, “I feel trapped when someone hugs me too tight, I don’t want to be held like that”.
The book gently explains that you and only you get to decide who touches your body, and also who you should touch. So, neither should anyone forcibly touch you or force you to touch them. This book will not only teach kids about being safe from abuse, but will help them stand up for themselves against physically being pushed around on the playground too. It gives them a statement
“Please stop, I don’t want to be touched”, which empowers them to be assertive when needed.
ii. Amazing You: Getting Smart about your Private Parts by Gail Saltz and Lynne Avril Cravath: Awareness about body parts, including private parts is probably the first step towards being safe. Using the correct anatomical names for body parts can help a child view body parts as what they are – body parts, instead of associating them with a mystery similar to that which must not be named! This book helps a child know all private parts (boys and girls) in great detail.
Many parents, myself included, hesitate when it comes to discussing private parts. I’ve found that having a book that lays it out in front of me, in an age appropriate way, helps.
The book has illustrations of the male (and female) genitalia that satisfied the curiosity of my 4 year, without making me uncomfortable. It is also the only book that has illustrations showing how private parts progress as you grow, and so it explains why the girl children do not have breasts but mummies (being grown up) do have them.
The book is also the simplest introduction to where do babies come from, and so it is the only early sex education book you will ever need.
iii. I Won’t Go With Strangers by Dagmar Geisler: How do you teach a child stranger danger without making them paranoid about everybody? This book manages to do that really well.
The story is about a girl who has been told by her mother that she can go home only with her mother, father or brother. While she waits outside school in the rain, several people come by – some of whom she knows really well and some who she doesn’t know.
The story shows the thoughts that go through her mind with each person – what must be that person’s favourite food? What must be their favourite soft toy? In most cases, she doesn’t know the answer to all the questions (meaning she doesn’t know them well, and so there is no question of going with them), but in one case she does know all the answers (her neighbour) but even then, she remembers the list her mother gave her, and says out loud that mumma said that I must wait for her.
I’ve been using this book to teach my son that he must not wander off with anyone except mumma and papa (not even with his best friend).
RELATED READS ADDED BY ASHA
ON CONSENT/PERSONAL BOUNDARIES/PERSONAL SPACE
Don’t Hug Doug (He Doesn’t Like It): A story about consent is a book recommended by Achira to help kids understand boundaries when it comes to HUGGING. This book can help kids who like hugging other children but don’t understand that the other child may not want to be hugged.
Simon the Hugger (32 pages) for 4-7 yos
Personal Space Camp by Julia Cook for 4-8 years (32 pages)
Yes! No!: A First Conversation About Consent (First Conversations) for 2-5 years.
Author: Megan Madison, Jessica Ralli. Illustrator: Isabel Roxas
Recommended by Jennifer. She has shared a review and some inside pages in the kbc facebook group here. Excerpts:
This book is for the hugger child that does not understand boundaries of other humans, and for the quiet lils that can never muster a no for the fear of hurting the adults or kids in their lives.
A fabulously illustrated book that teaches
“It’s okay if you hurt someone’s feelings when you say No. What you want for your own body matters. And it’s okay if your feelings get hurt when someone says NO to you. What they want for their own body matters, too.”
BOOKS ON GOOD TOUCH, BAD TOUCH; PRIVATE PARTS AND CONSENT
Hello, World! My Body by Jill McDonald for 2-3 years recommended by Achira. All of Jill McDonald’s Hello, World! books are amazing for babies and toddlers on different topics.
Life Issues – Good Touch, Bad Touch (says 4-7 years) Mona Sharma has this. Mona highly recommends the series LIFE ISSUES by Team Pegasus as each book addresses various issues.
Watch Out! No Touch for 4/5 years+ – recommended by all of our parents who have this book! This book and other books in this series can be ordered from Scholastic India via our kbc storefront as well. Scholastic India always has special offers on.
NEW RELEASE: Adi & Anku Learn To Stay Safe – The body safety guide for preschoolers (English) for 3-6 years (28 pages) from the makers of MENSTRUPEDIA (for 9 years+) and GULU (for 10 years+).
Stop! You are not allowed to touch me by Asma Torgal
Numbers Colouring Book with Body Safety Education by KIDS ON ALERT. For 4+ but Sweta got it for her 3yo. Sweta recently came across this interactive coloring book on body safety. Kids can learn numbers through coloring on body safety pictures. She has shared inside pages in the fb group here.
Misha Says No is another book in the series that Sweta has shared. Quoting her: “It talks about body boundaries and we can say no if we any touch makes us uncomfortable. The thing which i liked most was there was one page on when to say no, but also the alternatives we can do. We say no if someone says hi by forcefully hugging instead we can say hi by waving, smiling.” She has shared the inside pages here in the fb group. There are other books on KIDS ON ALERT as well.
There is a series called LITTLE BIG CHATS SERIES by Jayneen Sanders (22 pages) which is meant for 2-6 years. The titles include:
Private Parts are Private: Learning private parts are private and what to do if touched inappropriately (Little Big Chats),
Consent: Introducing consent and body boundaries (Little Big Chats),
Secrets and Surprises: Learning the difference between secrets and surprises (Little Big Chats),
My Early Warning Signs: Exploring Early Warning Signs and what to do if a child experiences these signs (Little Big Chats),
My Safety Network: Introducing a Safety Network (3 to 5 trusted adults a child can go to if they feel unsafe) (Little Big Chats),
Other books by Jayneen Sanders on the theme:
No Means No – the book that teaches young children about boundaries, consent and good touch, bad touch. [a huge bestseller at kbc]
Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept: Protect Children from Unsafe Touch by Teaching Them to Always Speak Up is also on the same topic.
My Body! What I Say Goes! Indigenous Edition: Teach Children Body Safety, Safe/Unsafe Touch, Private Parts, Secrets/Surprises, Consent, Respect
Let’s Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent and Respect: Teach children about body ownership, respect, feelings, choices and recognizing bullying behaviors
Keep Your Child Safe: Body Safety bookset by Rashi Gandhi for 4-7 years
My Body is Special and Private Kindle Edition
My Private Parts are Private! A Guide for Teaching Children about Safe Touching Kindle Edition
IT’S MY BODY: A Book about Body Privacy for Young Children by Louise Spilsbury for 5-7 years
[Note from Team Kids Book Café: For your convenience, affiliate links (MARKED IN PINK) to some of the book titles & images have been added to enable you to buy the books from AMAZON, should you wish to! A very small amount of money comes to kidsbookcafe.com when you purchase a book via the amazon affiliate link provided (at absolutely no extra cost to you!). Do let us know if you need information about other children’s books by writing to asha@kidsbookcafe.com.]
